Anyways, enjoy!
These came from an awesome website called:
http://funny-pics-fun.com/funny-compilations/funny-christmas-cartoons
Thursday, December 13, 2012
CHRISTMAS PICS!
Christmas is just around the corner, so I decided to collect some old time favorite Christmas pictures. As always, this isn't my property, I'm just collecting an archive of funny items, so I can look at them any time.
Anyways, enjoy!
These came from an awesome website called:
http://funny-pics-fun.com/funny-compilations/funny-christmas-cartoons
Anyways, enjoy!
These came from an awesome website called:
http://funny-pics-fun.com/funny-compilations/funny-christmas-cartoons
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Ironic Stories!
Ironic Stories!
Here are 4 classic ironic stories:
Italian man, who found a four-leaf clover from the cliff of Vido Marina, in Italy, slipped on the wet grass, fell down, and died.
In 1977, a man in New York was knocked down by a car, but was unhurt. A man passing by suggested that he should pretend to be hurt, to get insurance money. Immediately after the man had lain down, the car rolled forwards, and killed the man.
Armando Pinelli, a 70-year old man from Foggia, Italy, won the rights to sit on the shadow of the only tree in his yard, on the only lawn chair they had. After he sat down, the tree fell down on him, killing him.
After buying several losing tickets, Chris Calver from Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, England, won a hair-curler. Chris was balding.
From:
http://www.oddee.com/contrib_8155.aspx
Here are 4 classic ironic stories:
Italian man, who found a four-leaf clover from the cliff of Vido Marina, in Italy, slipped on the wet grass, fell down, and died.
In 1977, a man in New York was knocked down by a car, but was unhurt. A man passing by suggested that he should pretend to be hurt, to get insurance money. Immediately after the man had lain down, the car rolled forwards, and killed the man.
Armando Pinelli, a 70-year old man from Foggia, Italy, won the rights to sit on the shadow of the only tree in his yard, on the only lawn chair they had. After he sat down, the tree fell down on him, killing him.
After buying several losing tickets, Chris Calver from Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, England, won a hair-curler. Chris was balding.
From:
http://www.oddee.com/contrib_8155.aspx
More One Liner Jokes!
More One Liner Jokes!
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
All from:
http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/2/
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
All from:
http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/2/
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
One Liner Jokes HILARIOUS! MUST SEE!
One Liner Jokes
HILARIOUS! MUST SEE!
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a (b****).
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Saw this at:
http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/
HILARIOUS! MUST SEE!
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a (b****).
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Saw this at:
http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/
Cute animal pictures.
Cute animal pictures.
Saw this at:
http://www.coolpicturegallery.us/2011/01/worlds-most-funniest-animals-photos.html
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